Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
