I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
don't judge my taste in strippers
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
