So drunk its hurt
another moral hangover. fuck.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
