you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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