AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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