Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
