i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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