nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize