i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Mom said you looked used
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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