I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
