if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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