Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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