pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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