it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize