I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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