Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
