I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
