Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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