Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
