we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
