super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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