If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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