do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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