she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
zippers are such a cool invention
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it glows. i had to have it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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