Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
