We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
its liver damage thursday
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
