Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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