the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
