we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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