You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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