I wish I could teleport
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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