remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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