Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
