I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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