It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
