We're facebook friends in real life
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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