Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we're so committed to being not committed
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
