Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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