He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i need some magic done to my vagina
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
