he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
