guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
