You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
