it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
