I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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