im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
