Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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