Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
