he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I stole a fireplace last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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