did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
