Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
