dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
