I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize