i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
