We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize