every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
