4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have already put on my inside pants.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
