I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
