Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
