do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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