I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
being pregnant is like rehab
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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