Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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