When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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