My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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