well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize